


Bare My Fangs

by BlackDeviouseRose



Category: Naruto
Genre: Foreknowledge, Knowing the Future, OC, Original Character - Freeform, POV Original Character, Reincarnation, Self-Insert, more tags to be added later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-05-07 22:37:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5473106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackDeviouseRose/pseuds/BlackDeviouseRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reincarnation was a tricky business. It was something unpredictable, something that wasn't set in baselines as boring as 'rules' and had its own flow. Despite knowing this I still tried to understand the secrets the world hid away so I could just grasp what exactly was happening. I'm pretty sure I died, so there's that. But honestly, now what am I supposed to do? </p><p>Semi-Realistic SI/OC (more OC than Self-Insert)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I am now committing Fanfiction sacrilege by posting this. Oh, how far I’ve fallen. (No regrets.)
> 
> So, I know that Self-Inserts are the bane of Fanfiction’s existence, but I really wanted to write this?? Sorry?? Also, this is more along the lines of an OC story than a Self-Insert, so there’s that I suppose. I’m trying to go for something a bit more realistic rather than indulgent. I will, however, occasionally input my own feelings on certain matters in Shippo-chan’s point of view, although there won’t be any character bashing. I’ll also be using my own life experiences in some instances for how Shippo-chan reacts to certain situations. Fun!
> 
> As far as pairings are concerned if they do happen, they won’t happen until much further along the story. I can say with absolute certainty now though, that Shippo-chan won’t be paired with either Sasuke or Naruto. I have plans. 
> 
> Let’s get started then, why don’t we? 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Naruto. If I did the whole show would go to shit.

 

_At 41 years of age, one Miranda Johnson, or Mandy to her close friends, was an average American woman. She had a nice paying job as a history professor in a small public college, and she was well liked by both her friends and her family. She was raised in a quaint town by her kind and loving parents and was a socially bubbly child that brought smiles to everyone's faces. It was no surprise to her parents that she went on to teach history, the one thing she was passionate about. They supported her until the day she decided to move out, going to live with her high school sweetheart where they settled down to have a happy family. There was nothing particularly outstanding about her; there wasn't anything that set her apart from the rest, except, perhaps, her positive outlook on life. She was happy like this._

_She was an average girl in an average town with an average life. She was neither too ugly nor too beautiful. Her life could be summarized in a short textbook passage. That's probably why her death was such a shock. Her parents mourned, her boyfriend settled in a brief depression, and her friends cried. Even so they got over her death relatively quickly. No one could say they truly_ knew _her. Just another death in another town, another percentage – another decimal in a never ending wheel of time. Her parents moved on, focusing on her younger brother, her boyfriend found another girl, and her friends simply made new ones._

_Her average, boring life was brought to an abrupt, violent, end._

_And no one even cared._

**o.O.o**

Reincarnation was a tricky business. It was something unpredictable, something that wasn't set in baselines as boring as 'rules' and had its own flow. The way it worked was something no mortal would ever be able to understand, it just _was_ and nothing would change that. Despite knowing this I still tried to understand the secrets the world hid away so I could just _grasp_ what exactly was happening.

The first moments of my birth were hazy, clouded in noise and pain and bright lights, but there was one thing I could remember vividly. The warmth of my mother holding me close, and hushing me, the cry of another baby – which I could barely hear over my own sobs – and the press of another, wiggly body against my own. A word was always repeated at me, and I could only guess that it was my name, 'Shippo'. I thought it was such a strange name and not much changed after that.

The hours, or days, or weeks, or however much time passed with me and this other body curled close to each other, our mother pattering about around us and attending to our needs. Occasionally something large and wet would press against me, snuffling sounds emitting from it and I couldn't help but giggle from the funny feeling. Time passed, and before I knew it I could open my eyes _properly,_ although I couldn't do much besides that.

The world was bright and vivid to my young eyes, set in beautiful tones of green, and red, and blue, and purple, and orange, and brown, and- (I viciously cut the thought short)

The first thing I became aware of was the happy faces, and the laughter, and the joy, and it was just so _wrong._ Everything, this, was just not right. Where was I? _Who_ was I? The answers didn't come for a long, long time. My short life was preoccupied with crying, burping, pooping, and eating, and I didn't have any time or concentration to think on what was happening. I couldn't do _anything._

All I could do was rely on my mother to take care of me, to hope and pray that everything was okay, that wherever I was things weren't too bad and I would _understand_ soon.

And then _it_ happened, and _I knew._

The red burning chakra of the Kyuubi was something that could never be accurately described, and to put it bluntly it reeked of nothing short of _death_ (something I was intimately familiar with). It burned and ravaged the village, the people, the air, and it was so thick and so smoky that I couldn't do anything. I couldn't cry, I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe. My oversensitive nose was filled with the scent of blood, my ears filled with the screams of people, of _children_ , and my body was weighed down by burning death. My big sister was there, holding me and my screaming brother close and whispering promises that everything would be okay; that _we were safe now, there's no way the Kyuubi would come for us in the Hokage Monument, just absolutely no way, they'd be okay, they–_

She was crying as she said this, and I reached out blurrily with my hands to pat her face, trying to work through my fear to comfort my family. My brother pressed closer to me, his stuttering sobs subsiding slightly until he was forced into sleep.

Hours, _so many hours_ , passed like that, Sister holding us close, and Brother snuffling tearfully, until finally the sounds of destruction outside stopped and everything became _quiet._ The only sound that could be heard throughout the cavern we were taking refuge in was crying, the angry roar of the beast outside grinding to a halt. All was still, and more hours passed like this, waiting fretfully for the all clear, for someone to come and tell us _it was okay_. I finally fell asleep.

And I _dreamed._

** o.O.o **

The world of Naruto was a strange place, so different from my own. I had never been particularly interested in anime or manga, but my best friend had been _obsessed_ with the series, and as such had forced me to sit through every single episode. I only did so because I was a good friend, and now could only remember vague parts. I _had_ gone on to read the manga, but that was only out of a deep rooted desire to impress my friend rather than actual interest in the series itself. I wonder what she would think of me now…

Brief scenes flashed through my mind, never staying longer than a moment and flashing away to be replaced by something else. Naruto declaring that no matter what he would become Hokage, defacing the Hokage monument, Sasuke resolutely saying that he would _kill that man,_ that he was an avenger and he didn't need precious people, Sakura cutting her hair, her body broken and face contorted in pain, Kakashi promising that he would never let his comrades die, that those who abandon their friends are worse than scum…it went on and on and on and on. It was wonderful, it was sad, it was painful, and I wanted so badly to wake up. There was no way, none whatsoever, that I was here, _alive_ in the freaking Naruto-verse. There wasn't anything particularly _special_ or _interesting_ about me and I couldn't fathom why _I_ would be chosen to come to this amazingly horrid place. A land soaked in the blood of the innocents, of devils in human clothing, of inhumane beliefs and disgusting policies. There was no way.

Of course there was the possibility of this being a hallucination, of all of this a twisted warp of the brain to overcome some trauma I might have received when I did-or-didn't die. But that charka, the horrible scent of death and destruction, was _too_ real. And feeling it even now in my slumber I knew, _I knew,_ this was as real as my old life had been. I died. And now I lived. I wondered what the God's or whatever put me here wanted me to do.

It's not like I really remembered the series, I had only paid minor attention to it because while it had been interesting things like that didn't really hold my attention for all that long. Was I supposed to use my foreknowledge of the future to change things? Was I expected to be a witness to all that would happen? Either way, this story would have a happy ending even without my interference, so what was the point of _putting_ me here? Maybe I could prevent deaths, but going by that logic maybe I would cause more. Was the risk really worth it? Was _I_ really worth it? Somehow, I didn't think so.

But I was alive. I was _here._ I had to live out this story. I might as well do it how _I_ wanted to, fates be damned.

** o.O.o **

There was no time to mourn the losses suffered in the attack and the people of Konoha turned towards rebuilding the village and burning the dead. Mourning would come later, and after several months the village was back underway, the people pushing through their grief to celebrate with those that survived _that_ they survived. I don't remember much from then; just that mom was always busy and kept a large black dog watching over us, along with the rest of the clan. My days were mainly spent curled with Brother and Sister, playing with puppies, and sleeping.

As an infant I didn't really _do_ much. I didn't cry, I didn't laugh – I didn't do anything. My mom was starting to look harried and worried about my lack of response to anything, and I began to try my best to emulate Brother, who was always babbling happily. I was still struggling with my existence and basically the existence of the world itself, so it was hard. I reached and cooed for my mom and sister when they were paying attention to me and eventually the worried look began to vanish. It was hard being a baby. It was _scary_ being a baby.

As far as I was concerned my old life was over – I hadn't necessarily forgotten the trauma of dying, but I had a new life now. Maybe I wasn't meant to retain my memories, maybe this was all just a fluke and I really _was_ supposed to exist in this world, or maybe I was sent here with a purpose. I missed my previous parents but…that me was dead. I needed to look toward the future.

This was when I found out just _who_ my new family was. I feel kind of stupid, now that I think back on it, there were so many _hints_ that I somehow I missed. I was sleeping peacefully in my crib when I had felt a forceful tug on my hair. Annoyed, I opened my eyes to get a full blast of smiling, drooling, babbling, _brother._ Irritated I pushed his face away from me and was perfectly content to roll over and go back to sleep when I noticed the red marks on his cheeks. This wasn't uncommon, I knew, after all in the Naruto-verse the marks one bore was evidence of which clan you were born into. No, it was what mark they formed that caught my attention.

Red fangs adorned each of his pink cheeks, and tugging at it (which caused some spittle to fall from his lips, a happy expression overtaking his face) I confirmed that it wasn't something like _paint,_ and they were, in fact, real _._ Strange, I had always thought that the marks the characters bore were painted on, not a part of their skin…but I digress, the shock was overwhelming and I couldn't help the tears that began to fall from my eyes. As a baby I was much more sensitive to seemingly small things and often reacted with tears. Mom had chosen that moment to check on us and rushed over when she saw my sobs, and suddenly I could now clearly see the face of Tsume Inuzuka. I was born in a prominent clan. I was born in an _important_ clan. Just my being here probably caused changes that I'm not even aware of. My choice on whether or not to interfere was taken from me, there was no way I _couldn't_ interfere now that I knew I was related to Kiba Inuzuka – who, while not being a major supporting character, was influential in the story in his own right, and being his twin meant that if I should become a shinobi I would be with the graduating class of the Konoha 11. I wonder what this meant for me, what it meant for the future and was overwhelmed with fear. Thus, the tears. Mom hushed me until I willingly fell back to sleep. I didn't want to deal with this bullshit.

The Inuzuka's, I found, were a clan that relied heavily on physical contact. It wasn't that surprising, really, but more than once I found myself quite bewildered to be subject to puppy piles and constant cuddling. My twin was especially fond of sleeping curled around me, babbling at me happily and holding my hand. My chest always warmed pleasantly when this happened.

I began practicing words, mouthing syllables clumsily, unfamiliar with Japanese sounds and my young mouth unable to move in the right directions. Kiba jumped the gun on that one, loudly declaring that he was "Hunwy!" one morning, while Hana laughed and mom shook her head fondly. I upped my game.

Nearly a week later I mustered up all my vocal strength and with refine only a true queen could muster I pointed my chubby finger at the dogs Hana was looking over and said resolutely "puppy!"

Mom had barked out a long laugh and Hana had patted my head while smiling, making a comment that I was definitely an Inuzuka. I had beamed for nearly another week. I _belonged._

Perhaps it was wrong for me to so readily accept them as my family, as mother and sister and brother. I couldn't bring myself to care much – the old me was _dead,_ I didn't want to dwell on the pain of losing my world, my family, my friends, my boyfriend, my culture, my home, my –

I cut the thought short.

If this were an illusion I had nothing to lose. If it wasn't…I had _everything_ to gain. There was no point in pretending that this wasn't real, and I would act accordingly. I was scared, bloody _terrified,_ but really what choice do I have?

My old world is gone.

I alone hold the memories of it.

I will guard them preciously and watch over my new family.

**o.O.o**

Growing slowly was both boring, and tedious. I spent my days mainly trying to recount old memories, form some sort of _plan_ for the future, and being with my family. As a clan child (a clan child born for the clan _head_ no less)I was expected to follow clan laws and learn the clan's rules, expectations, fighting form, and politics.

Typically, in a clan the first born child of the clan head is expected to become the clan's heir and take up the role of leading the clan when they are deemed ready. For the Inuzuka's, however, it is different. Unlike the Nara's, Yamanaka, and Akimichi, who holds a closely bound alliance that has spanned since the beginning of Konoha itself, the Inuzuka stand alone as a clan. While being allied with the Aburame, their alliance was born more out of necessity rather than _friendship._ Because of this, when each child becomes of a proper age they will be gathered before the clans elders and judged based on their willingness to rule the clan, their knowledge of the clans politics and rules, their fighting prowess, and their loyalty to Konoha. Being twins, this is doubly important for Kiba and me, the clan will want an heir that is both competent and trustful, they wanted only the absolute best - they didn't care who was born first. I couldn't help but find all of this fascinating.

As soon as I could I inspected myself in the mirror, curious at how I looked in this world. What I found intrigued and disappointed me. My hair was a reddish brown, wild, untamed, and brushing a little past my shoulders (looking at it makes me want to grow it out). Like the rest of my family, red fangs mar my cheeks, reaching down to gently brush my jaw and I can't help but feel proud at seeing them there – they proved that I was an Inuzuka, that I was _pack_. My eyes are a light brown, just like Kiba's, and are nearly slit against the whites of them (fascinating), my face being chubby with baby fat and I was _tiny._ I couldn't help but want to be a bit more, well, _pretty_ even though I'm just a child. Well, looks aren't that important I suppose. I mainly wear t-shirts (most of them have pictures of puppy's on them) and shorts, although the occasional skirt finds its way in my closet. I'm more interested in the battle kimono's I spied in the shops near the town center and I fully plan on trading out my current attire for one when I start in the Academy.

Occasionally, when I think too much, I look in the mirror and see someone else. The person I was – who I used to be. I try not to dwell on it too much.

Learning the clan's politics and laws was both interesting and _boring._ My only reprieve was looking over the dogs in the Inuzuka clinic with Hana and the exercises I went through each morning with my mother and Kiba. It was hard work, and more than once found Kiba and I sneaking away to hide in the kitchens or any nook and cranny we could find, only relenting in our studies when mother sicked Kuromaru on us.

Soon my 5th birthday passes and I am deemed old enough to go outside. Kiba and I take full advantage of this, skipping our clan classes to buy sweets and play at the nearby playground, much to the amusement of Hana and the annoyance of our mother, who threatens to have Kuromaru babysit us wherever we go. (We grudgingly agree to go to our classes)

Konoha was a thing of beauty. The sun was always shining brightly on me; the tree's always green – even in winter (I wonder if it was Hashirama's influence and resolved to look it up later) – and always bustling with life. People; people everywhere, on the streets, in the trees, on the roofs, everywhere I looked. It was disorienting, especially with my extremely enhanced senses. I could smell the sweat heavy in the air, hear the joyful laughing and shouting of vendors sharply, and my eyes could see everything crisply, and so much further than my previous body could. It made it hard for me to differentiate what was what, caused me to need stop for a moment so my brain could catch up, and gave me such pounding headaches I could barely take a step. This didn't seem to bother Kiba, who seemed to enjoy his new freedom – maybe it was my new body trying to compensate for what my previous one didn't have. Which brought up another topic.

Chakra.

Wonderful, glorious, dangerous, _chakra_. One of the great joys of being reincarnated into this world was the amazing power that chakra provided – the ability to defy gravity, walk on water, force nature to bend to your _will._ Yes, if there was one reason to be reincarnated into a world so deeply entrenched in blood it was for this simple (yet so complex) power.

But, I am no fool. I know that if I even attempt to gain access to my chakra as young as I am now it would probably end up killing me, so no matter how tempting it is I held back from trying to use it. This didn't stop me from trying to _sense_ it however. It was strange, I could feel it vaguely throughout my body – always there, just waiting for me to call on it; a calming presence in my otherwise chaotic mind – and I could somewhat sense it in others. Kiba's was warm and wild, I could feel how it jumped and thrummed in his body. Moms' was much the same, yet hers has a more mature and dangerous edge to it; while Hana's is a calm soothing presence that hides an underlying tinge of _danger._ I wonder what mine feels like…

Our training and exercises have steadily been becoming more intense as our mother tries to prepare us for joining the Academy next year, and I can barely contain my excitement. Excitedly, Kiba and I whisper to each other on what being in the Academy will be like, how awesome we'll be as ninja and the like. While our 6th birthday steadily approaches I am filled with trepidation. Soon the actual plot will begin, soon I will be meeting actual _characters (as in_ Naruto, _as in Sasuke and Sakura and Ino and Shikimaru, and Chouji, and Hinata, and ohmygodwhatdoIdo-),_ and I still don't know what to do. I am no closer to solving this world's problems than I am sprouting wings to fly.

Despite this there's still one thing that I look forward to and that's my 9th birthday. On an Inuzuka's 9th birthday they meet their partner for life. You know what I'm talking about – a Nin Dog. Yep, through thick and thin and everything in between an Inuzuka's Ninken will stay by their partners side no matter what. I know Kiba will have Akamaru, but I can't help but wonder who _my_ partner will be…the thought fills me with excitement.

But still, that was years off and I had more important things to worry about (unfortunately).

**o.O.o**

"You two better not get into trouble or else you'll be running 100 laps around the village!" Mom threatens Kiba and me as we run out the door.

"We will!" Kiba shouts, grinning at me mischievously and dodging the ladle mom throws at us, angrily shouting that she can hear that he's lying.

Following closely behind and holding tightly to his hand to avoid being separated, I grin happily back. Darting through the streets, running into people, and generally being nuisances, it wasn't long until we reached the nice, wooded park. Kiba immediately took to the swings and I contented myself with sitting in the cool shade a nearby tree had to offer. Flopping back I stared at the clouds above, feeling at peace. The world was calm. Turning my head to observe Kiba, I blink in surprise at the other person I hadn't noticed was there.

"Oh, hello Shino." I say politely, bowing my head in greeting.

"…Hello." He replies after a moment, bowing his head as well. I had first met him a little over a month ago, when his father had important clan business to discuss with my mother. I had hit it off with him immediately. I found a kindred spirit in him; we were much the same – besides it'd be best if I got along with my brothers future teammate.

Smiling, I move to crouch next to him, curiously looking at what he was so intent on. There were a few bugs I didn't recognize steadily making their way across the grassy floor.

"Tell me about them?" I ask, smiling up at him. He seemed happy at my response to something that frightens most other girls, and quietly began to tell me what they are. After a while Kiba comes to join us, prodding curiously at the bugs and snickering when Shino glares at him.

Somehow, even though I have no idea what I'm doing, I think things will be okay.

I _hope_ they will (they have to).


	2. Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that a lot of other stories have the child/toddler stage go on forever to kind of give you a feel for the character, but I'm not really planning on doing that. I want her actions and words to define her to you through the main plot, and writing background is very tedious for me – although I recognize the necessity for it. Even so, don't expect me to immediately jump into the plot because I want to establish relationships with plot heavy characters and show how her personality can affect the characters choices at such a young age. Also I'm really excited to introduce her Ninken.
> 
> Further along the story I'll probably post a poll asking on what pairings you'd like to see Shippo-chan with, but her character isn't defined enough and relationships not established enough to make it yet. Still something to look forward to though!
> 
> I feel like it's important for me to state right now that there will be no character bashing in this story! I do not like character bashing. I hate it. Therefore, any and all negative interactions between Shippo-chan and other characters are probably for a reason and are based on how I believe Shippo-chan will perceive the other person and how they will perceive Shippo-chan. Please keep this in mind while reading my story. I really don't want to be accused of character bashing any time in the future.

Inuzuka Shippo was strange for a child. That is, to say, that she was not 'strange' in the sense that most adults would infer from such a statement. She did not have or rely on imaginary friends, nor was she particularly rude or crude to adults, or any number of things that might pop into your head when the words 'strange' and 'child' were mixed in the same sentence. No, what made Inuzuka Shippo strange was that she was completely normal.

She was a polite, hardworking child who rarely brought attention to herself; only speaking when directly asked and generally keeping her head down and away from her fellow children. If it weren't for the red fangs that marked her cheeks or the small smattering of red forming across her eyelids it wouldn't be an unreasonable assumption that she was a civilian child, or even a child from a lesser known clan. As it was, those marks gave away her lineage quiet blatantly and it was only her uncanny ability to hide from others that kept those more familiar with the Inuzuka clan from cringing away from her.

The Inuzuka clan was known for its ferocious appearance and fierce, straight-forward attitude which scared off lesser men (including Shippo's own father, though that wasn't often talked about). The only other member of the family that wasn't 'scary' was Hana, the girl's older sister, and even she had a way of unnerving people if they managed to get on her bad side. No, it seemed that Shippo was the saving grace of the Inuzuka clan, both quiet and kind and smart, and Absolutely Perfectly Ordinary.

Now, if only people would notice her. Or, even remember that she existed – that'd be great. So normal and average was she that she completely blended in with those around her, managing to not draw anyone's attention unless done purposefully. She was happy like this; she didn't particularly like people's attention, and she enjoyed the freedom she gained from having no one pay any attention to her, but that didn't dissipate the occasional pang for recognition or hope for someone to notice her.

She wouldn't like to think herself an attention-seeking child, but it was there all the same and no amount of shame would make it disappear. She wanted to prove herself. Because no matter how her family loved her, no matter how many friends she might gain she didn't belong. This was not her world. She shouldn't exist.

Her twin, Kiba, was somehow able to tell exactly what she needed, when she needed it. He went out of his way to draw eyes towards him, being loud and rude when she needed a moment alone, or purposely brought her into games with the other children when she was feeling particularly lonely. He never questioned her, and it's not that he understood her because he really, really didn't, but he trusted and loved her so he did what he could to help. He was her big brother after all. And he'd rip apart anyone who hurt her.

o.O.o

"Wake up!"

Groaning blearily, I roll over and attempt to hide away from the God-forsaken voice that dares to interrupt my peaceful slumber. Next to me, I hear a similar mumble of protest before the warm, cozy, wonderful blankets are snatched from me.

"Ughhh" I whine, pushing my head under my pillow before that, too, is stolen away.

"Oh, no you don't! If you don't get up right now, then you don't get any breakfast!" the evil blanket snatcher roars, before storming out of the room and slamming the door.

Muttering curses in English under my breath, I grudgingly get up and have to push Kiba over the side of the bed to get him to move. Ignoring his sleepy glare and muttered 'umph', I trudge back to my room. I stealthily avoid mom who is cooking breakfast in the messiest, angriest way possible (all while raging about lazy children), and change out of my cute kitten-covered pajamas.

Nearly an hour later finds Kiba and me running through our morning kata's, our mom barking encouragements (which are really just threats) at us while Kuromaru watches on lazily. Hana was called into the clinic on an emergency and had left while we were still asleep.

We had started learning these Kata's as soon as we hit three years old, and despite his general grumbling and cursing I knew Kiba enjoyed the exercise – even if we were forced to get up at ungodly hours to accommodate our mother. In the beginning it had been hard, but now I ran through them without even thinking about it; my body going through the familiar motions with practiced ease while I avoided the subtle hits Kiba aims at me from behind moms back. I hit back twice as hard.

Today was it. Today was the first day of the Academy, and nervousness begins to overtake my mind, causing my twisting body to falter. What if I wasn't in the same class as Kiba? What if I did bad, or didn't make any friends, or didn't graduate? What if–

Suddenly, I'm swatted in the back of my head, "You'll do fine pup, so stop worrying so much" mom says, grinning in that dangerous way of hers and I try to smile back, my fangs tugging on my lips.

"R-right…" I nod, determination welling up in my chest. Worrying would get me nowhere. I begin running through my cooling off exercises and eagerly make my way into the house, intent on taking a shower and getting dressed. However, it seemed we slept in later than we thought and have to rush to gather our things, with mom cussing as quietly as she can (which is actually Very Loudly).

Grabbing my lunchbox and Kiba's hand, we both trail after mom who parts waves through the crowd easily, her reputation preceding her. Kuromaru sticks to my side, growling at anyone who looks at us wrong or strays too close for his liking – tensions never really vanished after a kidnapping attempt on a clan child within the villages walls nearly 3 years prior failed – and many minutes pass like this; Kiba chattering excitedly, and me nodding to whatever he says, occasionally inputting my own opinion. A feeling of calm settles over me. Everything will be alright.

Staring up at the large building, which was situated close to the Hokage Monument and the Hokage Tower for safety purposes of course, I nod resolutely. I would be fine.

"Alright brats," says mom, grinning down at us and ruffling both of our heads (much to our annoyance), "I'll see you inside, I have some business to take care of…" she trails off slightly before snapping her teeth in a feral grin "so, give them hell!"

We both grin at each other before looking back up at her, "right!"

We make our way to the auditorium situated in the center of the school (which was harder than one would think – the Academy had many winding hallways that abruptly lead to dead ends and many, many rooms that were either bursting to the brim or completely empty – to ward off possible invaders or foreign shinobi) and managed to find two free seats. The children around us were talking excitedly, nervously, and were constantly turning toward the back of the room for reassurance from their parents (whom were having polite conversation). Glancing around I immediately picked out key faces - Sakura was two rows down smiling shyly at a beaming Ino, Hinata was looking around uncomfortably and pulling on her hair a row beside us, Shikimaru was snoring with his head tilted back in front of us, a munching Chouji happily making his way through his snacks next to him, and Sasuke was smiling toward the back of the room at someone I couldn't see to the left of us. I couldn't find Naruto, which surprised me – I had expected to find him right away seeing as he's the main character. Even so, the appearance of all these plot important characters causes my stomach to fill up with butterflies, which is not helped by the fact that each of the six year olds look positively adorable with their chubby cheeks and wide eyes. Trying to distract myself, I turn in my seat and tried to find who Sasuke was looking at, easily pinpointing mom who was terrorizing a civilian couple (it seems the business she had to take care of was short. Or we spent longer in the hallways than I expected…), and froze when I saw who it was.

Uchiha Itachi. Even though I knew I would more than likely see him while being in close contact with his (precious) brother, I still wasn't prepared to see him.

In the future I will look back on this day and will regard this as the moment when I truly became aware of where – who – I was. And it is as I am staring at Uchiha Itachi in something akin to horror that I am suddenly hit with the realization that this is more than a story. That these were actual people, not just characters in a book whose life and death is inconsequential, and what I do will have consequences. I could die, my family could die (and I remember, in this world there are so many more fates worse than death, so many unimaginable horrors that it was no wonder that emotions are seen as a weakness, that in order to persevere most would cut off their feelings and slaughter what they hold precious to them. This is a world of survival, not living) – I could make everything so much worse than it already was without even lifting a finger. And I knew that dammit, I've always known that from the moment I became aware of my surrounding – when I understood just where I was, and just how horrible my situation truly is. So then why is it just now hitting me? Why do I just now understand?

"Are you okay?" Kiba asks me worriedly, reaching his hand out to touch my forehead, checking my temperature, and I muster a weak smile.

"Y-yeah, just nervous is a-all" I curse my stutter; I don't want to worry him.

He doesn't look convinced but nods anyway, muttering "don't push yourself, okay?" before focusing his attention on the bright stage that is situated at the front of the auditorium. I turn my attention away from Uchiha Itachi (a boy who will go on to slaughter the entirety of his family for the sake of a child who will never truly understand just how precious he is – just how loved and cherished he is by those around him, who will become blind to these things and will destroy himself, will destroy the world around him. I feel sick to my stomach, I am not prepared–) to focus on the Hokage, who has just stepped onto the stage.

"Welcome," the Hokage smiles (it's so strange seeing him, here, alive, and he looks almost exactly like the anime depicted him, which brings up the question; do I look like an anime character? I can't really perceive a difference between my previous reality and this one appearance wise…I better focus) "today is a big step in your lives. A step towards the path that you decide to take, a step towards becoming an adult, and a step towards protecting that which is precious to you."

The chattering starts up again, only quieting when Hokage-sama begins to speak again,

"Your time here will be hard, you will be pushed both mentally and physically to the point of exhaustion to prepare you for the path you will take and I am warning you now – there will be no shortcuts. If you wish to become a shinobi, if you wish to protect your village and you're loved ones you will need to be hardworking and willing to sacrifice yourself, spending time on both your mind and your body to hone your abilities. So work hard, fight for what you believe in, and make your village proud." He beams down on us.

This seems to excite the children even more, who look up at Hokage-sama in awe and whisper to each other in not-quite-hushed voices. I can't help but think that most of the short speech went over their heads.

"You can count on me Ojii-san, dattebayo!" a voice suddenly rings out, and I am suddenly confronted with the form of the orange clad ray of sunshine that is simply Naruto.

I hear the mutterings begin behind me, and I turn to see the parents all looking wary, glaring with scorn at Naruto, who doesn't seem to notice the reaction his disturbance has caused, and hissing towards each other angrily. Curious, I look toward mom for her reaction, but she is blank faced (which is scary in itself), merely looking at Naruto with scrutiny – Kuromaru seems to be sleeping by her side. I wonder what this means.

Kiba says something under his breath, annoyance obvious on his face and I nudge him with my elbow. He raises his eyebrow at me, but I just smile. I don't want him to hate Naruto.

I may not know Naruto personally, I may not even begin to understand his pain and hardships, but I still felt a connection to him after years of watching him go through trial after trial. He was still the main character that everyone adores. He doesn't deserve this hostility.

Even so, I am determined to stay away from him. As tempting as it is to become his friend, to help him, I don't know what could happen from such a deviance from cannon. While I had decided that I wanted to change the story, I wanted to be a bit cautious in my risk taking and I wasn't ready to jump the gun so early on in such a drastic measure. For now I would watch him from afar and determine whether or not I should interfere.

"I'm gonna be Hokage, just you watch, dattebayo!" he shouts, and I am distracted from my thoughts smiling slightly at his exuberance. The Hokage chuckles warmly, nodding his head at Naruto's words,

"I'll hold you to that Naruto-kun" he says kindly, and Naruto positively beams.

'He's so adorable..!'

Soon afterward we are called up to the stage to form a single file line as the Chunin begin to call out names, each child going to hide behind their new teacher and converse not-quietly with their new classmates. I am not surprised to note that the civilian children are gathered into the same class while the clan children are separated into their own class – it's very likely that by the end of the year over half of the students will have dropped out and be transferred to the clan children's class to form one unifying class and the process will repeat itself next year. The Academy has no use for weak children who give up at the first sign of competition. I watch Sakura wave shyly at Ino before turning to follow her new Sensei, and Ino does the same before huddling behind a sleepy looking Shikimaru. I am happy to note that I am in the same class as Kiba (honestly I don't know why I was so worried, why I so easily forget that I'm a clan child) and I grab his hand to follow our sensei out of the room. Mom roars encouragements at my back and I can't stop the embarrassed flush from overtaking my face as Kiba shouts back. Being an Inuzuka is bad for my heart.

The room we're led to is large, probably in preparation for the merging of classes at the end of the year, and were allowed to choose our own seats. I tug Kiba with me to the back of the class, behind Shino, and he obliges without fuss (probably thinking that he could more easily nap there, honestly…). Settling ourselves I look around and easily pinpoint all of the plot heavy characters (besides Sakura, but we already established that). I notice that Hinata was twisting her hands nervously in what had to be a painful way while looking around the room for a place to sit. After a stiff moment of contemplation I sigh and hesitantly call out to her to sit with us.

I didn't really like kids my own age, and although I knew her character I was wary around people I didn't really know. I knew in the anime she was a nervous, kind girl who had an immense crush on Naruto, but I could never really stop myself from looking down on her – much to the anger and annoyance of my best friend, who adored Hinata. I didn't like how weak the anime portrayed female characters – who, while strong in their own right, always ended up relying on some type of male figure for guidance. It was incredibly frustrating.

The younger girl startled like a frightened rabbit and after an awkward moment of silence came to sit gingerly next to me, bowing her flaming head in greeting. Crap. She was adorable.

I barely resisted the urge to pull on her chubby cheeks and smiled reassuringly at her. Despite my wariness I knew she was a good kid, and would grow into a strong woman.

"Hi," I say, fangs tugging at my lip nervously, "I'm Inuzuka Shippo, and this is my brother Kiba."

"H-hello," she stutters, wringing her hands harshly, and I barely stopped from wincing, "I-I'm Hyuuga H-Hinata…"

"Hi Hinata-chan!" Kiba says, smiling widely, with no respect what-so-ever. I hit him on the back of the head, ignoring his whine, and focus on Hinata who is blushing even more so (if that's even possible) at the over familiar use of her name.

"I-it's nice to meet you S-Shippo-san, K-Kiba-kun…" she mumbles, keeping her eyes on her desk and I frown. She's even worse off than I thought – I knew she was shy, but wasn't this a bit much? I knew her family was hard on her, but at this rate she would get herself killed in no time flat. Looking at her blushing face, stuttering words, and downcast eyes I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sympathy. I knew what it was like to constantly second guess yourself, to feel like you weren't good enough, and I knew that even without acknowledging it I had made up my mind to help this girl, even if only slightly.

Sighing wistfully at the carefree look Kiba was sending me I settled deeper into my seat.

I was probably digging my own grave.

o.O.o

The rest of the day was exceedingly boring. We were given a written test that had Kiba scowling angrily and were forced to have a mock spar against Sensei to evaluate our abilities. It was long and tedious. I'm positive I got the majority of the questions right on the test and I wasn't too shabby against Sensei in our mock-spar. When the bell rang to signal lunch-time Kiba dragged me out the door shouting something about freedom while I tugged Hinata behind me. I had insisted she play with us, and – hesitantly, she agreed. I found myself liking the girl; she was so cute.

"Ne, ne," said Kiba happily, "let's play's Ninja!"

"'Play'" I corrected absentmindedly – he ignores me – and scout out the yard for someone I could recognize. I couldn't help it, seeing the characters (not characters, a voice reminded me) right before my eyes was exhilarating.

"I made paper Shiruken during class," Kiba went on to explain and I send him a reprimanding glare (he ignores that too) opening my mouth to scold him. Someone had to keep him in line when mom or Hana wasn't around, but he cut me off by asking if Hinata wanted to play.

"S-sure" she smiled shyly, taking some of the offered paper stars.

I huff, grabbing some that Kiba offered me with a smirk that looked adorably hilarious on his pudgy face. I poke him in the cheek.

"Ne, Shino, do you wanna' play too?" I ask the other boy from where he was hiding beneath the shade of a nearby tree, counting out the ants that trail across the grassy ground. He looks up at me from beneath his collar, which successfully hides his face, and is silent for a moment, adjusting his glasses.

"…I will play 'Ninja' with you," he says, pushing his sunglasses up, "why? Because it will help train my-"

"Man Shino, ya' need to stop being so specific and just get to the point" Kiba interrupts him, and I could see a hint of annoyance cross Shino's face before his expression evens out. From what I remember of the anime Shino tended to hold grudges for a long time, and I try to smile apologetically at him.

"But still," I say, trying to avoid any possible tension, "four people aren't really enough to play…"

"Hmm, your right" said Kiba, looking around for someone else to join us. I spot someone before he can, however, and hesitantly call out to the boy that's looking around the yard awkwardly.

"H-hey, you're Sasuke right?" I ask quietly, twisting the bottom of my shirt (mom had refused to buy me one of those awesome battle kimono's, said I was 'too young'), and mentally berating myself all the while – this is most definitely not staying under the radar. What am I doing?

He looks slightly surprised before he gives me a shy, cute – why was everyone so cute ohmygawd – smile and nodded his head.

"Would you like to play Ninja with us?" I ask, and he thinks for a moment before chirping a happy 'Sure!'

Behind him I see Sakura and Ino give me a childish glare and I shrink back behind Kiba. Do they already have a crush on him? How is that even possible, they're six! It's only been a day, hell, a few hours! In the time that I had been recruiting Sasuke to our game Kiba had somehow managed to wrangle Naruto into playing with us.

I was slightly shocked, to say the least. The anime had made it clear that Naruto had a lonely childhood without any friends. It was shown that he had formed a group out of Kiba, Shikimaru, and Chouji to play pranks, but they weren't really friends. Just trouble makers.

"Now our numbers are even!" Says Kiba proudly.

Oh, I realize faintly, if I hadn't been here to play then Kiba probably would have asked someone else to play. He probably wouldn't be friends with Hinata either.

I'm already making ripples. This doesn't bode well.

Silently, I let Kiba sort out the teams and try not to think about it too much.

"Alright, let's start!" Kiba shouts. Apparently I'm on a team with Shino, and Hinata.

Waiting for the signal to start I try to stand as far away from Naruto and Sasuke as possible.

I had enough of changing things for one day.

o.O.o

The day passed by rather quickly after that. The teachers were mainly busy sorting out the students and evaluating our skill level so they would know where to begin our courses to pay too much attention to us. I had successfully managed to avoid Naruto and Sasuke and was ready to just sleep the rest of the day away.

"So how was the first day?" Hana asks from where she was cooking dinner.

"It was alright I guess," I answer idly, staring at the ceiling from where I'm collapsed on the couch, "we didn't really do too much…"

Hana laughs; pushing the vegetables she just finished chopping toward the side and gives me an impish smile, "You're going to regret saying that…"

"What's your team like?" I ask instead, studiously avoiding my impending downfall.

Hana brightens at the mention of her new team and immediately begins to rattle off about how cool her Sensei is and how awesome her teammates are and 'oh yeah, were going to be going on a C Rank mission soon, can you believe it!' but I'm not really listening.

It wasn't until today that I've begun to realize just how screwed I really am. I had assumed I could fix everything with a flick of my wrist, because, surely, it wouldn't be that hard. I suppose I hadn't truly accepted this as reality – and I still haven't, not really – and seeing all of the characters gathered in one place like this kind of just– opened my eyes a little.

I don't know what to do. Half formed plans and theories aren't enough for the shit storm ahead and I am severely, severely unprepared. Never before had I felt so weak, helpless – except for, perhaps, at my death – and my young six year old body would be destroyed if a genin fought me. The anime had always made fighting look so easy, so casual, and it had never occurred to me that I would fail at it. I needed to up my game, needed to take this more seriously. These years of, mildly, undisturbed peace had messed with my mind, lulled me into a sense of false calmness. This was dangerous.

Breathing deeply I settle my mind. Take this one arc at a time. The biggest upcoming arc would be the mission to Wave Country; however, there is probably little I can do there. I doubt I'd somehow make it on Team 7, and regardless, I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be on Team 7. That would be where the most change could take place, but…there's still an overwhelming feeling of fear. Being on, admittedly, the unluckiest team in the entirety of Konoha's history was daunting in itself. The possibility of me dying is so overwhelmingly likely that I'm not too sure if it would even be worth it. What change could I bring dead? I already died once, I'm not eager to do it again.

So, in the likelihood of being on Team 7, what should I do when that mission does come? What if I change things so much that they end up not even going on the mission? What should I do if I don't end up on Team 7?

"Shippo, are you okay?" I'm ripped from my thoughts to look up at Hana who is leaning over me worriedly.

"Y-yeah, just thinking about the upcoming year…" I smile at her uneasily.

"Well, don't think too hard, you might hurt yourself!" Hana teases lightly, worry fading slightly.

I nod because she's right. All this worrying will get me nowhere. One step at a time. One arc at a time.

Groaning loudly I roll over to shove my face into a throw pillow, ignoring Hana's prodding. One step at a time…

Dinner was a loud and rambunctious affair, as it always was, and Kiba and I happily tell mom how our first day went before sleepily going to bed. Mom doesn't even complain when I trail after Kiba to his room, and I fall into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

The rest of the week passed much like the first day had and we were informed that class rankings would be posted soon. I was nervous and fluttery; the rankings would be the deciding factor on whether I would be on Team 7. If I did end up at the top of the Kunoichi list then I would do my best to maintain it, if I didn't…well I would decide where to go from there. My brother was slightly annoyed by my nervousness and tried to reassure me I would be fine. I had to stop myself from hissing at him that he didn't understand how important this was to me, but I knew that he couldn't help it. I often forgot that he was still a child, we just clicked so well.

Clutching his hand tightly I let him guide me to where the rankings were posted in the first year corridor. There were many children milling around seeing as it was lunchtime, talking animatedly and looking excited, while others looked upset and disappointed. Hesitating, I stop and Kiba tugs at me insistently, shooting me a confident grin. Smiling back, fangs once again tugging at my lips, I let him completely drag me to the front of the crowd. Closing my eyes I take a deep breath and let look up before I can chicken out.

Scanning the page I let my eyes rest on what they were looking for. Printed in fine, neat black kanji were the words 'Inuzuka, Shippo' exactly where I knew Haruno Sakura's name should be. My stomach swooped. I can't decide if I'm upset or excited. Next to me, Kiba whoops and gives my hand a tight squeeze.

"Good job imouto!" he says happily, and I take a moment to look over the page next to the female roster to find his name written neatly ten rows from the top, his scores written just as finely next to it. Raising my brows at his written test scores I give him a look, and he grins cutely at me.

"I don't give a crap about that stuff!" he says happily, and I smack him lightly on the head at the use of a 'bad' word. If mom were here…

"You should," I begin to lecture him, "your scores determine which genin team you'll be placed on when we graduate-"

Kiba whines at me petulantly, dragging me away from the board to our classroom and I can see Ino glowering me, Sakura tugging at her sleeve nervously. Ignoring the sinking feeling in my stomach I huddle against Kiba's back and let his happy chatter overtake me.

It seems my choice was once again taken from me, but I couldn't bring myself to be upset about it. I had resigned myself to this after all.

I would keep my place as number one Kunoichi, and I would be on Team 7.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am really satisfied with the title. What'dya think hun? Pretty amazing right? I dunno about the summary right now, it might change over time so expect that I guess.
> 
> FUN FACTS!
> 
> – Hana is currently 12/13 years old and would have just graduated from the Academy. She's been working in the animal clinic from a young age.
> 
> – Hinata was almost kidnapped at 3 years old, Neji's father killed shortly after.
> 
> – The Kanji for Shippo is 尾
> 
> I have literally no other fun facts. What a shame…


	3. What

_Death is a strange figure._

_A figure of darkness and light, of both love and hate, and while Death is there it is also_ Not, _because no human could possibly understand-_

_Could possibly see-_

_But that’s not important because-_

_Death is a strange figure._

_Such a-_

_Death is-_

_Dea-_

o.O.o

It starts like this; there I am, minding my own business, happily focusing on my book when suddenly, my desk is disturbed by someone loudly slamming their hands down in front of me. Naturally, I let out the highest screech imaginable and move to confront the disturber of my peace. Looking up, I am more than surprised to see Yamanaki Ino beaming down at me, Haruna Sakura shyly peeking out from behind her.

“Uh…” I say dumbly, and Ino’s grin grows.

“Hi!” she chirps happily, “I’m Yamanaka Ino and this is my best friend Haruna Sakura.” Staring for a minute more, I remember that at this point of the conversation I should be introducing myself.

“I-I’m Inuzuka Shippo, it’s nice to meet you.” I somehow manage to stutter out, even though I don’t understand why they’re talking to me – they made it pretty obvious they weren’t fond of me in the least so far.

If anything my response seems to make her happier, her grin widening until she has to close her eyes from the force of it. I am very confused.

A long moment of silence passes between us, me not knowing what to say, and her simply grinning at me.

“Let’s be friends!” she says suddenly, and I am mentally thrown for a loop. Sakura is smiling at me meekly, which gives me no answers whatsoever.

“W-what?” I ask in bewilderment, but she steamrolls right over me.

“Is it okay for you to stay the night this weekend?” she asks, “Me and Sakura are having a slumber party at my house, but we thought it would be more fun with you there!”

She stops to look at me expectantly, and it takes a minute for her words to connect.

“I- maybe?” I say, “I don’t know if my mom will-“

“Great!” the other girl says, and Sakura is giving me an understanding and pitiful look from over her shoulder, “I’ll see you on Saturday at 12! Don’t be late.”

And then she’s flouncing off, flipping her short hair over her shoulder, with Sakura trailing behind her.

“What just happened?” I ask Kiba bewilderedly, who was silently dozing beside me.

“I dunno.” He shrugs, wiping a bit of drool from his chin.

Letting my head hit the desk, I can’t help but let out a loud groan. I strangely feel as if I’ve been sentenced to death.

“I think it’d be a great idea!” says Hana later, at dinner, and mom nods beside her. Kiba is tearing into his grilled mackerel at an almost alarming pace, not paying attention to what anyone is saying.

“It’d be good for you to make some friends.” Mom adds, and she looks thoughtful for a moment. My stomach clenches with dread.

“Come to think of it,” she says, “I remember Inoichi telling me about signing his daughter up for those special female classes, says it’s helped a ton.”

Beside her, Hana looks absolutely thrilled at the prospect of kunoichi classes, and I can feel my heart begin to fall in my chest.

“You’d learn a lot, and it would give you a chance to make more friends…” she seems to be talking to herself at this point, nodding slowly.

“Oh, that would be great wouldn’t it Shippo-chan?” asks Hana cheerily, not really looking toward me for my opinion.

“That really isn’t ne-” I start desperately, but am cut off immediately.

“Seeing as there’s no complaint from anyone, I’m going to sign you up tomorrow!” Mom declares, grinning in that wild way of hers, and Hana nods approvingly. Kiba helps himself to seconds.

“I-“

“I never took the classes,” the ‘because of war’ goes unsaid, “so this should be a good experience for you!”

Unable to do anything, I stare helplessly at my family. Kiba sends me a curious look when I glare at him, the unhelpful jerk.

What even is my life?

o.O.o

Saturday comes _way_ too soon, and before I know it I’m being carted off to the Yamanaka Compound and deposited in front of Ino’s home.

“You made it!” Ino calls happily, and Sakura waves from behind the door.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like you gave me much of a choice in the matter,” I mutter and trudge my way inside.

Ino’s house is spacious, which didn’t really surprise me seeing as she _is_ the Yamanaka heiress. From what I could see the home was adorned with soft blues and purples, lavender and vanilla scented around every corner. It felt comfortable and homely.

“My rooms this way,” says Ino as she leads me up the stairs, “I was just about to do Sakura’s hair! I’ll do yours next!”

“That’s o-“

“Your hair is kind of short, but that’s okay…” she says thoughtfully, and Sakura nods agreeably, “I can do this…or maybe this…”

“Um,” I say, lost.

“D-don’t you think her hair would look pretty like this?” Sakura inputs shyly, moving forward to ruffle my short brown strands, and Ino brightens immediately, reaching for a nearby bowl.

“Want a cookie cookie?” she asks cheerfully as she shoves them in my arms. I open my mouth, close it, and-

“Thanks,” I sigh, resigned.

Bite into it, chocolaty goodness melting on my tongue.

“No problem!” she replies, nonplussed.

We come to a standstill.

“Anyway,” Ino chirps, directing me down the corridor and towards a pastel purple door, “this is my room!”

She throws the door open with a cheerful shout, and I take in the brightly lit room anxiously, wary of any traps.

The room was pretty and cute, soft shades of purple and pink scattered throughout the rather large space. A queen sized bed was pushed beside a large wi8ndow that filtered in golden sunlight, a (very outdated) television settled on a small bedside cabinet, and a large beanbag adorned with a cats face sitting before a large bookcase were some of the many things my eyes were drawn to. The room felt warm and comfortable, and I was momentarily put at ease.

“Now then,” Ino clapped her hands, and Sakura softly shut the door behind us, “it’s time to begin!”

“What?” I ask, but my question goes unheard.

Ino reaches for a nearby box, and dread once again settles in my stomach.

o.O.o

“You look so cute!” Ino squeals, Sakura blushing prettily beside her.

“Told you this would be fun…” Sakura smiles happily, and my lips twitch back tightly against the thick makeup covering my face.

“Look!” Ino holds aloft a small, blue mirror before me, and I take it hesitantly.

The last two hours were spent chatting and eating cookies, Ino and Sakura happily applying mascara, eyeliner, blush, lip-gloss and any manner of pointy instruments to my face. We were settled comfortably on Ino’s big bed, cookies and chips scattered on the soft surface.

_…Before,_ I had never really messed around with makeup much. I wasn’t necessarily a _tomboy_ , but I wasn’t particularly _girly_ either – I had simply applied lipstick and mascara to myself before going about my day. This was…an experience, to say the least.

Glimpsing through the mirror, I’m surprised by the face that stares me back. That isn’t really something uncommon, I’m _always_ surprised by the face that greets me, but this was a whole other level of ‘new-face’. The thick black paint that the mascara provides contrasted brilliantly with the bright red of my cheeks and eyelids, the blush highlighting my clans marks and the soft pink, strawberry tasting lip-gloss sparkling on my lips. I wasn’t pretty, and I _certainly_ wasn’t beautiful, but I looked cute – for a child at least.

I spend a long moment staring into the little mirror.

“Now do Sakura while I do your hair!” Ino says suddenly.

“W-what?!”

“You’ll do fine,” she assures me, but I’m not comforted in the least.

“B-but-“

Ino shoves the makeup-filled box into my arms with a cheery grin before moving to settle behind me. Sakura curls into the soft spot before me, arms wrapping around a pillow.

“R-right,” I mutter to myself, gripping my determination and grabbing the bright-red lipstick.

Sakura eyes me warily. I eye my hand warily.

Might as well get this over with.

o.O.o

“Nice job!” Ino praises me, an hour later, after I had somehow figured out which object did what and Sakura was no longer cringing in pain.

“Y-yeah, I really like it!” Sakura beams, soft blush and a light dusting of gold eye-shadow highlighting the vivid green her eyes display. While doing her makeup I found myself taken away with awe at the beauty her young face promised.

“Your hairs hard to work with, but it was fun all the same,” Ino tells me as she falls back against her mattress, hands reaching for a nearby chocolate-chip cookie and biting into it with a moan of delight.

I lightly pat my head and find that she had managed to tear the wild curls away from my face and into some semblance of order, some type of ribbon keeping my bangs back. A glimpse in the nearby mirror proves the ribbon to be a vivid red, the long tails of it trailing down my back.

Ino gets up and rummages through her bedside drawer, pulling something out with a ‘aha!’ and a bright, cheery grin.

“Now it’s time to do our nails!” She says excitedly, and Sakura squeals beside her.

Thumping onto one of Ino’s pillows, I can’t stop the muffled groan from escaping my lips.

“Yay!” says Ino.

“Y-yay!” says Sakura.

“Yay…” I whine sadly.

o.O.o

“But did you notice Sasuke-kun’s hair today?” Ino sighs dreamily, after we were all tuckered out and night had finally _(finally)_ fallen, and I try not to cringe, “it was as perfect as ever.”

“A-and his eyes too!” Sakura squeals.

Were these two really like this?

I understand that they’re still children, but even so-

Wasn’t this a bit…much?

“What about you?” Ino turns on me, “what do you think of Sasuke-kun?”

“U-uh, he’s…okay?” I say hesitantly.

A long moment of silence follows, before Ino opens her mouth, and-

“So you _do_ like him!” She says, something ferocious and angry in her eyes-

“W-what? No I-“ I stutter, taken aback and somewhat shocked by the sudden turn of topic

“We won’t let you take him so easily, you hear?!” Ino cuts me off, once again, and I flail desperately for something to say because _what_ -

“Y-yeah!” Sakura puts in, determination covering her face, “j-just because you’re the top ranking kunoichi doesn’t mean anything, okay!”

“I-“

“If you think we’ll just let you do as you please you have another thing coming-“

“I-“ I struggle, face flushing and heart pounding a messy tempo in my chest, something like sadness and anger weighing heavy on my heart – because a part of me has come to enjoy being with Ino and Sakura, has come to enjoy their prescence “I-“

“You-“

“-I’M NOT INTERESTED IN BOYS!” I force out in a rush, eyes clenching shut with the weight of my voice, breath harried and anxious sweat trailing down my face, flushed red and nervous stutter trying to force its way out and-

The room is dead silent.

“W-what?” Ino says, flabbergasted, and Sakura is staring at me in something akin to shock – eyes wide and mouth dropped, face pale and green irises staring into my soul-

“O-oh,” Sakura says, understanding dawning on her face, a red burn following it.

The now familiar feeling of dread was once again forcing its way down my throat, heart dropping slowly-

“Why didn’t you just say so!” Ino bursts out suddenly, “there’s nothing wrong with that!”

“What?” I whimper wearily.

“Y-yeah,” Sakura says, giving me a comforting smile, “we understand.”

“Understand what?” I ask, but am ignored.

“I’m sure the perfect girl is out there for you!”

“What.”

“It doesn’t matter if you like boys or girls, the only thing that matters is what’s in your heart – that’s what my mom told me,” Sakura tells me.

“I-“ I cut myself off with a breathy whimper.

I evaluate who I am as a human being, dig deeper into the core of my existence, look at my morals and expectations and my dreams and-

“Yeah.” I settle for, “I know.”

“So, have a crush on anyone?” Ino giggles cheerily, offering me a cookie, which I take with the air of someone who had just won a long-fought battle.

This was going to be a long night.

o.O.o

It’s about 3 in the morning when I next wake, and I stumble down the stairs to the bathroom tiredly, yawn tugging at my lips and sleepiness filming my eyes.

After doing my business I quickly wash my hands and feel my way back to the room, but am stopped when I run into Sakura by accident.

“Shi-shoot,” I stumble, “I didn’t see you there Sakura,”

“O-oh, it’s fine,” she tells me timidly, hand moving up to tug on her bangs.

“Heading back to the room?” I ask, and she nods, reaching out to hesitantly grab my hand.

I tug her along behind me back up the stairs and into Ino’s dim room; the only light provided a nearby cat-shaped nightlight.

Crawling onto the bed, I settle beside Ino tiredly, Sakura doing the same.

A long moment of silence passes and a thought suddenly comes to me.

“Hey Sakura,” I whisper quietly, half of me hoping she’s awake and the other half praying she’s not.

“Y-yeah?” she whispers back, and Ino’s soft snores are the only company we have.

“…Why do you want to become a ninja?”

A long moment of silence passes.

I think she’s not going to answer me.

“My family,” she says eventually, voice soft and shaky, “is a family of merchants. We don’t have a drop on shinobi blood in us.”

“But then-“

“But I-“ she cuts me off, “I want to do something with my life. I’m going to become the first shinobi in my family, and I’m going to create my own ninja clan- I-I’ll become strong and-“ she cuts herself off, and I can see her form trembling out of the corner of my eyes.

“And prove myself,” she finishes weakly.

I’m silent.

I hadn’t given any thought to Sakura in all of this – so caught up in the momentum of what _will_ happen and how I can avoid it and-

That was cruel of me.

Sakura is just as much of a person as I am, and selfishly trying to take her place like I have been is-

“I-“ I say, curse myself and ignore my growing anxiety,

Another moment of silence.

“I have my own reasons for becoming a kunoichi,” I tell her evenly, thoughts of Kiba and mom and sis running through my mind, along with a thick, strong desire to _protect,_ “that’s why I-“

I swallow my own guilt down, force myself to push it aside and look at things rationally, because my family is important to me, so, _so, important to me-_

_All I have left and-_

_I-_

_“I won’t hold back against you.”_

o.O.o

_Once upon a time there lived a young girl._

_This young girl lived a relatively normal life, one that was neither too happy nor too sad, a life that was surrounded with peace and love and-_

_Expectancy and-_

_A life filled with calmness and serenity, with happy smiles and open emotions, and-_

_Anxiety and tension, hidden depression and masked ignorance, because it’s all a lie, it’s all-_

_And then one day she-_

_Died._

_And then suddenly-_

o.O.o

“Thank you for having me over,” I say politely, bowing my head in a form of goodbye, “I had fun.”

“It was very nice meeting you Shippo-chan,” Ino’s mother says warmly, handing me a small bento box filled to the brim with all sorts of cookies, “please tell your mother I said hi.”

“We will,” Hana says as she pats my head soothingly, “thank you for taking such good care of her.”

“Ah, it was no problem,” Yamanaka-san smiles brighter.

I strangely felt like a dog.

“Bye Shippo-chan!” Ino calls cheerily, and Sakura waves goodbye as her own mother tugs her gently away, “see you at school!”

“R-right!” I call back, my own hands being taken by Hana as we began to walk down the street to where our compound was.

“Did you have fun?” Hana asks me, the Haimaru brothers rubbing against my sides happily. They weren’t full grown yet, still barely just puppies, but even now they were a struggle to take care of, easily excitable and distracted by those around them. I don’t know how Hana does it.

I think for a moment before eventually deciding-

“Yeah, yeah I did.”

Hana smiles at me, hand reaching out to ruffle my hair.

“I’m glad.”

o.O.o

_Inuzuka Shippo wasn’t a particularly normal child._

_That is not to say, however, that she was particularly_ odd _either, no, just…different._

_Different in a way no one in his world would ever_ dream _to understand, different in a way that was both heartbreaking and_ dangerous, _different in a way that could destroy her._

_She doesn’t seem to mind._

o.O.o

“Hey brat,” mom calls when I walk through the door, “how’d ya do?”

“Pretty good,” I say presenting her with the box of cookies which she takes eagerly, Kuromaru huffing a snort from his sleepy place on the floor.

“Where’s Kiba?” I ask, looking around in surprise that he hadn’t immediately pounced at the smell of cookies.

“He’s with that boy, uh, Naruto I think his name was.”

“Oh,” I say quietly.

o.O.o

_Miranda Johnson was an incredibly normal child._

_That is not to say, however, that she wasn’t particularly_ odd _either, no, just….normal._

_Normal in a way that would haunt her for years, in a way that she gained nothing in her life, normal in a way that was both boring and disheartening, normal in a way that destroyed her._

_She very much minded._

o.O.o

“When will he be home?” I ask, fang tugging lips and hands reaching for a cookie absently.

I’ve made my decision.

It’s wrong of me to do this- to just…force myself into this story – to so selfishly and cruelly steal another person’s place – _another person’s life –_ but-

I can’t just…

I can’t just stand by and _do nothing._

Not with everything that I love on the line.

Not with the only thing I have left being forced away from me.

My old world is gone, lost, forever not to be found, and with it goes my family and friends, my life and existence – the entire reason I am who I am today and that’s why-

I won’t let what I have left be taken from me.

I’ll stand and fight.

I’ll _learn._

Even if it means taking another’s place.

Even if it means turning the world against me.

Even if it means-

I’ll do what it takes to survive.

o.O.o

_Isn’t that what it means to be human?_

_Isn’t that what it means to be alive..?_


	4. Contemplation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long

"Again!" mom barks out sharply, and with a pained grimace I perform the motion again. I harshly fall to the ground, pain lancing up my sides and out my mouth with a silent whoosh.

"You're movements are smooth and fluid, but your form is off," Hana says, moving forward to correct my stance and position me properly, "don't give up, okay, Shippo-chan?"

Nodding with a grunt, I once more twist my body around, pushing my feet until I am suspended horizontally and spinning in a wild motion. I feel my hair flapping around me in an untamed mane, feel exhilaration course through my bones, the hot sensation of my chakra propelling me before I am abruptly stopped mid-motion.

"What have I told you about using your chakra?" Mom growls, and I find myself dangling by my feet before her face.

I wince minutely, bowing my head in submission, "not to use it under any circumstances…" I mutter.

"And why is that?" she continues in a brisk manner, dropping me with a thud into the dirt.

"Because," I drone, getting up and brushing the grass off my clothes, "in order to perfect the technique, I must first learn to perform it without the use of chakra so as to not expend too much chakra when using the technique in the field."

Inuzuka Tsume was strangely serious and commanding when it came to training her children. This shouldn't be so surprising, she _is_ a Jounin after all, but something about it never fails to send a shock of surprise down my spine. She takes training and disciplining her children as serious as she takes her _job –_ that is, as a matter of life and death. Kiba was at the park with Shino because mom prefers to train us one on one where she can focus on our strengths and weaknesses individually.

Kuromaru watches us impassively.

"That's right," says mom, sighing after a moment of contemplation and a quick glance at the sun.

"We'll pick this up tomorrow," she decides with a nod, Kuromaru leaping up to accompany her back into the house, "you're free for the rest of the day!" she calls behind her back, and Hana sighs in exasperation.

"You did good Shippo-chan," she says, giving my head a fond few pats, "much better than on my first try."

I flush brightly and look down at my feet, twitching them embarrassedly. It was strange to receive such praise, to be treated like the growing child I'm not.

"T-thanks," I mumble, exhaustion starting to seep through my pores.

"Wanna come with me to the clinic to cool down?" She asks, noticing my drooping eyes and the yawn tugging at my lips.

Playing with the puppies always seemed to relax me.

"Sure," I smile, fangs tugging at my lips.

o.O.o

"But then Ame got in my way like the bit-" Ino started, mouth snarling around the words-

"Anyway!" I interrupt her quickly, letting out a nervous laugh, and Sakura joins me, strained, "how has your schoolwork been?"

Ino rolls her eyes, "you're so boring sometimes Shippo," she lets out a near silent tsk, "but I've managed to up my taijutsu and my dad is helping me with weaving signs."

I turn expectantly to Sakura and she flushes, "u-um, about half of my class has d-dropped out, and a few more were kicked, s-so the teacher says they'll be merging the classes soon…but I've gotten better with my sign weaving a-and tactical thinking…"

"How's your taijutsu?" I ask curiously, picking up a nearby lavender colored flower and placing it in my oddly assorted bouquet. Ino subtly cringes but doesn't say anything.

"N-not good…" she mutters sadly, wringing the flowers in her hands without thought. Ino flutters fretfully and moves forward to rip her hands from the stems.

I hum thoughtfully and turn towards Ino, carefully not looking at the dark scowl she's aiming at Sakura, "how are your written test scores?" I ask.

Ino says nothing but looks away a little guiltily. I sigh.

"Why don't you guys ever help each other?" I ask, and they shoot each other a glance.

"That's so boring though," Ino whines, carefully plucking a pretty looking white flower and adding it to her nicely arranged bouquet.

"How about we start studying together?" I ask somewhat absently as I bat a few flies away from my face.

"Y-you mean form a…study group?" Sakura asks, blinking her big eyes in confusion.

I think for a moment and settle myself on the grassy ground, "that doesn't sound too bad does it?" I ask thoughtfully, "I could ask Hinata-chan to join too."

Ino makes a face and turns away from us flippantly, "I'm going to go turn in my bouquet," she says, flipping her growing hair over her shoulder, "I'll see you two losers later."

"W-wait!" Sakura calls out worriedly from where she was sitting on her knees next to me, "what about the study group?"

Ino spares a moment to glance back at us, "what about it?" she asks.

"A-are we going to do it..?" Sakura glances at me somewhat worriedly and I shrug back.

"I don't see why not," Ino says, turning back to look ahead, "Sunday's are good days for me by the way."

We watch as she practically prances away, and we both turn to glance at each other.

"She's kind of Tsundere, isn't she?" I ask.

Sakura nods solemnly.

A long moment of silence passes with both of us listening to the chattering girls around us and I take a moment to spare a fleeting thought of thanking mom for signing me up for these somewhat tedious classes. I've grudgingly learned a lot in the past week or so.

Even if it has been boring as hell.

On second thought I'll save that thanks for a later date.

"H-hey, Shippo-chan," Sakura calls out timidly, twisting her fingers, "about what you said the other day…"

"Hmm?" I ask, craning my head up to look at the clouds.

"I've thought about it a lot…" she pauses for a moment as if searching for words, looking down at her knees with her brow furrowed, "and I've come to a decision…"

I turn to give her my full attention, regarding her seriously.

"Y-you said you have people to protect…and that y-you have your own reasons for becoming a shinobi…"

She clenches her fists and suddenly turns to look up at me, chubby face pinched in a serious expression, and she closes her eyes tightly with the weight of her words.

"B-but I do too!" she suddenly shouts passionately, "I-I have my own people to protect, and my own dreams and aspirations and that's why I…!"

She opens her eyes to look at me, fire burning bright in them, and for a moment I can see the kunoichi she will become – can see the amazing woman that will be shaped, the _sage_ waiting untapped, and am filled with mixed emotions of guilt and awe.

"I won't hold back against you either!"

The words are shouted with an eagerness I would never be able to match, a ferocity I had never heard before, and I feel…awed. Her voice broke through the silent haze of the afternoon with a sharp intensity, a determination that I suddenly realized I did not have. It was startling. Sobering.

"Right," I reply shakily, voice somewhat raspy.

She flushes and smiles at me, a quick flash of teeth, and I try to smile back.

I haven't been taking Sakura seriously, I suddenly realize.

I haven't been taking any of them seriously.

It was easy-

It was just. So easy. To forget who they would become, to just-

See them as children, as-

Characters.

Characters. In a book.

It was easy to forget that they were _real,_ to just…pretend, if only for a while, that they were…nothing.

"Sakura," I hear myself saying distantly, and she tilts her head nervously, "I respect you a lot more than you can imagine…"

She flushes brightly, mouth opening to interrupt my words, but this is something she _needs_ to hear and-

"I don't think you understand how amazing you are," I let my eyes drift over to her, emotions raging and tumbling through my veins, "or how much potential you have…Sakura, you can – no, _are,_ going to do amazing things, so-"

My eyes fall back towards my knees.

"So, I need to do my best too..!"

Sakura has tears in her eyes, and she quickly moves to wipe them away.

"R-right!"

o.O.o

"Hey sis," Kiba asks me thoughtfully one day "what do you want for your birthday?"

I turn to him immediately, eyebrows thrown up in speculation, "why are you asking…?"

He turns from me and puts his arms behind his head, letting out a little whistle as he casually replies, "I dunno, I was just wondering…we are turning 7 after all…"

Our birthday was fast approaching – not that I really cared much – and with it came a flood of new expectations and harsh realities. I was quickly reminded that just because I found myself at the top of the current kunoichi rankings, that didn't mean I would _always_ be. I needed to up my game, I needed-

I needed to take this more seriously.

"Could it be," I say slowly, carefully not smiling, "that you're going to get me a present?"

He flushes and turns towards me angrily, embarrassedly, "w-why wouldn't I get you a gift?"

"Oh, I don't know," I reply easily, "maybe because you never have before?"

He shoves his hands in his shorts pocket, kicking the ground irritably.

"Forget I said anything!" He tsks, arms once again moving themselves to sit firmly behind his head, and he turns away from me to walk off.

He always was rather twitchy.

"You are!" I squeal, moving forward to pounce on him immediately, "aren't you the best big brother in the whole wide world!"

He shouts as I begin to tug at his cheeks as a grandmother would a child, cooing at him all the while.

"Shippo!" he struggles against me, but I don't let up and soon we're both on the floor wrestling.

This goes on for several minutes until we both lay on our backs, panting and laughing as we stare up at the ceiling of our home.

"Hey Shippo," he asks me after a few moments of silence had passed, "what do you think our ninken will be like?"

I hum at him thoughtfully, putting my hand to my chin in a classical thinking pose, "our ninken, huh?"

I roll over to lie on my stomach, settling my head in my hands as I kick my legs back and forth rhythmically.

"Yours will probably be small…with an annoying bark, and…will pee everywhere..!"

Kiba pushes my shoulder angrily, and with a laugh I roll away.

"Oh yeah, well yours will be," he stops to think for a moment, face twisting in concentration, "smelly, fat, and _ugly!"_

A long moment of silence passes, both of us staring the other down before…

We both burst into raucous giggles, clutching our sides and rolling on the floor.

It's currently nearing midnight, and neither of us have caught even a wink of sleep.

"In all seriousness though," I say, settling once more on my side, panting from exertion, "your ninken will be the best partner you could ever hope for. He'll be painfully loyal and will always be by your side through thick and thin. He'll be there to protect you and you him. He'll be your best-friend."

"How do you know?" He asks me somewhat timidly, and I smile fondly.

"I have a good feeling is all."

o.O.o

Life continued slowly, but surely.

Class continued to be both grueling and tedious in equal measures, and mom continued to slowly teach us the secrets of our clan.

"Can either of you tell me what this is?" She asks, having settled us down in front of her in the living room. She's holding a small green sphere before her, twisting it through her fingers before handing it to us to scrutinize.

We glance at each other before Kiba shrugs as subtly as he can.

"A…soldier pill?" I ask more than answer, and mom gives a sharp nod.

"Kiba," she barks out, and Kiba freezes before sitting up alertly, "tell me what they're for!"

He seems to think for a moment, shooting me a desperate glance, and I give him a blank stare.

"I…don't know…" he answers hesitantly, and mom sighs.

"Soldier pills are used to replenish chakra and nourish the body," she shakes her head, and Kiba relaxes minutely at the lack of punishment for not knowing the answer, "Kiba, tomorrow I want you to work with Hana on your homework and studying."

He deflates.

I struggle not to snort.

"Now then, soldier pills are also used…"

And so it continues.

o.O.o

"Hey mom," I call out one morning, grabbing some toast and smearing it with butter before biting into it with a grin, "is it okay for Ino-chan, Sakura-chan, and maybe Hinata-chan to come over on Sundays for a study group?"

Mom looks up at me, surprised, before breaking into a grin.

"Of course!" she says, "I think that's a good idea. Oh - maybe Hana can help you girls with things you don't understand!"

I hum thoughtfully, sipping my miso soup, and nod happily. Hana was smart, and perhaps, maybe…she could inspire Sakura with her medical knowledge.

"Okay!" I tell mom, glancing at the clock and rushing to my backpack when I see the time. Kuromaru slowly stands up and stretches, and I run to the bathroom to bang on the door.

"It's time to go!" I yell at Kiba, "c'mon already!"

He's been in there for an awfully long time.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" he shouts back, annoyed and muffled by the door.

It opens a moment later and I begin dragging him behind me towards the front door.

"Bye mom!" I call as I open the door for Kuromaru, who would be escorting us today, and rushing out.

"What's the hurry?" Kiba yawns tiredly, eyes drooping sleepily.

"We're almost late," I tell him, picking up the pace, "and if we don't hurry we _will_ be late."

He frowns unhappily and lets me tug him along faster. Kuromaru huffs a laugh, but ultimately stays silent, sticking close.

Mom didn't want us to walk to the academy alone, but had her duties to attend to today and so Kuromaru had graciously offered his assistance.

It's a long walk through winding paths, between chattering civilian's legs, and over bridges, but we get there eventually. I glance at the sun and twitter nervously when I see its position. The schools courtyard is empty.

"I think we're late," I mumble sadly, and Kiba shrugs.

"Whatever," he tells me, and I struggle not to hit him.

"We're probably going to have detention," I threaten, this time in a monotone, and Kiba straightens up with a quiet whine.

"Damnit…"

"Try to be good today pups," Kuromaru cuts in, sitting down and levelling each of us with a _look,_ "or your mom is going to be very angry. And that means extra training."

We both stiffen and glance at each other before nodding slowly. The courtyard is silent.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" he asks after a moment, and I unfreeze.

"Right!" I say, latching onto Kiba's hand, "See you later then Kuromaru!"

"Bye pups," he calls back, turning and walking away in a somewhat lazy saunter.

I begin dragging Kiba behind me once more to our classroom, letting him chatter away about something to do with playing ninja, and take a deep breath as I see the classrooms door coming into view.

"Right," I mutter, pulling it open slowly.

Dozens of eyes stare back at me. I laugh nervously and push Kiba in front of me. He scowls and attempts to elbow me ahead of him. I don't let him.

"You're late," the teacher scolds us disappointingly, and we both droop, stopping out motions immediately.

"Sorry sensei," we both mutter to our feet, a silent shuffling, and I glance around the room only to stop when I spot Sakura. She waves to me, smile hesitant.

"This will be a warning – don't do it again. Take your seat, it's time to begin today's lesson."

We both scurry forward, Kiba heading for a spot in the back and me making my way to the empty seat next to Sakura.

"The classes were merged today," she explains in a whisper at my questioning look.

I nod, settling next to her and changing to conversation, "Remember that study group we talked about? I want to talk about it at lunch and ask Hinata-chan if she would like to join…"

Sakura nods, looking somewhat excited, and I focus my attention towards the blackboard, where a graph of some type was crudely drawn.

'Line B is the greatest possible distance a shinobi can throw his shuriken from a tree of 7 meters. For enemies who appear within the circumference of the shuriken's range, explain his attack options. Show your work.'

I groan softly and let my head land with a thud against my desk. I can distantly hear a muffled, similar sound from the back row.

Today was going to be a long day.

o.O.o

"Hinata-chan," I call out to the girl as we're exiting the classrooms, shooing Kiba ahead when he stops to give me a curious look.

"U-uh, S-Shippo-san?" Hinata asks back, looking nervous and slightly confused, and I attempt to give her an assuring smile.

She looks even more nervous.

"A-anyway," I say, trying not to think on _that,_ "I was just wondering – Ino, Sakura, and I are making a study group and we were wondering if you wanted to join?"

Her nervousness seems to fade, and she turns to look at me more properly, and I give a silent cheer to myself at intriguing her.

"We'll be meeting up on Sundays after school at my house! I think it will really, really help us."

I give her a wide smile, fangs pulling at my teeth, and she looks down at her feet.

"I-I," she stammers, pushing her fingers together nervously, "I w-want to, b-but I h-have to ask m-my f-father first, i-if that's o-okay..?"

She seems to cringe, bearing down into herself, and I step forward, slightly worried.

"W-well, that's fine," I tell her, trying to plaster a friendly smile onto my face, "we can wait! Just remember you're always welcome with us, okay?"

She looks up at me, a small hopeful look in her eyes, and I feel my heart clench. What has Hiashi done to make this small six year old so…unhappy? So nervous?

_So afraid that nobody will like her? Or surprised when she is treated with kindness?_

It's not right. It disgusts me.

"O-Okay," she whispers, looking down at her feet once more.

"Want to come eat lunch with us? We're right over there," I say, pointing to a small cluster of trees where I can see Sakura and Ino biting into some rice while glancing over at Sasuke and flushing. I try not to wince.

Hinata looks alarmed, eyes shooting between me and the other girls in something akin to fear, before settling her eyes on the floor. She looks conflicted, twitching her fingers, wrinkling her nose, before bringing her eyes up to me once more.

She looks determined.

"O-okay!" she says, a little loudly, a bright red flush spreading evenly over her already pink cheeks and the distant curve of her ears.

I smile, a genuine curve of the lips, and gently take her hand.

"Let's go then!"

o.O.o

"I need to work on my stamina and written scores," Ino says, biting viciously into her steamed bun. I swear I can hear a silent whimper from Hinata's direction, but a glance at the girl shows her to be opening up her own lunch.

"Sakura?" I ask, turning towards the girl, and Sakura nods at me in a formal fashion.

"I need to work on my taijutsu and sign-weaving," she tells me, somewhat briskly, and I try to hide my smile at how seriously she's taking this.

"Right then," I clap, plopping my purple bento into my lap, "I need to work on my taijutsu, tactical thinking, and sign-weaving."

I nod decisively, opening the small box and grinning when I spot the salmon and rice peeking out at me.

"A-ano," Hinata puts in, voice small and hesitant, and I look up at her immediately.

It was hard for her, I know, to come over and sit with us. It was obvious she didn't have any friends, nor did she have the confidence to make any. Sakura had accepted her into our little group eagerly, a shy smile titling her lips, and Ino only after giving her a scrutinized once over and a small, thoughtful nod. (She had then proceeded to pounce on the girl, dragging her down and questioning her about where she bought her clothes, who did her hair, and did she know how beautiful her _skin_ was?).

"I n-need help w-with my taijutsu a-and t-tactical thinking…" she trails off, voice breaking near the end, and I hum thoughtfully.

"Well," I say, leaning back on my hands, "it seems we all need help in pretty much the same areas."

I lean forward, take a piece of smoked salmon into my chopsticks and plop it into my mouth, "we should start this Sunday, after school," I say around my fish, "Hana says she would be more than happy to help us with what we don't understand, and mom says we can use the sitting room to study."

Ino lets out a loud, exasperated groan, and leans forward to rest her head on my shoulder.

"This is so boring," she whines, grabbing my arm, "let's talk about something else."

I roll my eyes, but nod, giving her a piece of salmon when she makes a grabby motion at my bento. She beams, plops an onigiri into my box and proceeds to swoon at Sasuke, whose eating his own lunch nearby.

"He's so cute," she sighs, Sakura nodding her head, "so, so cute…"

"H-his bento is so pretty too, h-his mom must be an a-amazing cook…"

"Just ignore them," I tell Hinata, "there's no helping it. It's best to just leave them be when they get like this."

Hinata glances at both of them, looks confused for a moment, but nods anyway, smiling at me hesitantly and biting into her own rice.

I glance around the courtyard for my brother, smile when I see him chatting animatedly with Shino, and lay back to look at the sky.

Sakura and Ino are gushing somewhere to my right, Hinata is twitching nervously to my left, and I can hear my brothers exuberant yells from across the courtyard.

I take a deep breath, hold it, and let it whoosh out with a smile.

Things seem to finally be settling into place.

Best hope it stays that way.

o.O.o

" _Hey."_

" _?"_

" _What are you going to do with your life?"_

"…"

" _Hmm. I thought so."_

" _..?"_

" _Oh. It's nothing, don't worry about it. It doesn't really matter, in the end."_

o.O.o

"You're becoming such a girl," Kiba tells me one day, nose wrinkling with mild disgust as he gives me a once over.

"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" I ask, plopping my hands on my hips and giving him a glare, "I _am_ a girl you know."

"Yeah, but," he takes a moment to wave his hands around, "you've never really _acted_ like one, y'know? You were always more of a boy than a girl."

I bristle up and hunch my shoulders at him angrily, "what's that supposed to mean!"

"I mean," he scowls at me, brow pinched, "that you never spend any time with me anymore! You're always too busy with Sakura or Ino, or even Hinata-chan!"

He's sneering by the end of his tirade, and I'm taken aback. I let my hands fall from my hips, unhunch my shoulders and regard him with surprise and concern. I hadn't known he'd been feeling that way.

"I'm sorry Kiba," I tell him, reaching forward to grab his hand, "I didn't know…"

He turns away from me, letting my fingers curl around his hand tightly, and shrugs his shoulders.

"You're the most important," I tell him, moving forward to nudge his shoulder, "you know that right? They might be my friends, but you're still my brother. Nothing can top that."

"Promise?" his voice is quiet, face still turned away, and I smile softly.

"I promise," I tell him firmly, "and from this point forward I'll try harder to be there for you."

He gives me a shrewd look, scrutinizing me carefully, before he nods slowly.

"Okay," he says, and I smile.

"Okay," I reply.

"Wanna go to the park? We can play on the swings…"

"Okay!"

I briefly wonder if this is okay.

If it's alright for me to so casually assert myself as a sister, to so readily integrate myself into this family and change the outcome of this world as a whole. To change who lives and who dies, to shape this future into something else…

And, if only for a moment, I allow myself to consider the possibility, that perhaps my existence is more of a hindrance than a help; that perhaps who I am as a person is nothing more than a spectator – nothing more than a flaw – and this worlds fate is out of my hands no matter what I do-

For, surely, no mere mortal – no _broken_ _soul_ – could be given such tremendous power, such knowledge, that could fracture the universe as a whole. I can feel it, deep in my bones, the gravity of what I've been given. Of what I can do.

I contemplate this, only for a moment, before it's gone.

My brother is smiling at me, shiny hope in his eyes, and I smile because, truthfully, _I don't care._

_This is my brother._

My brother, _story be damned._

_I'm not doing this for some greater good, out of some sense of morality – of what should be right, could be changed – no, I'm doing this for_ me _. For_ him _._

_If some baddies get taken down along the way, then so be it – but for now, my eyes are only focused on him._

_On protection._

o.O.o

" _I don't understand."_

_Miranda, what are you doing with your life?_

" _I don't know."_

_Aren't you happy?_

" _I'm not sure."_

"… _Then why do you keep trying?"_

"…"

' _Please, tell me, why_ do _I keep trying..?'_

o.O.o

_Depression is such a bitter thing._

_Such an – unforgiving thing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu up on my new fiction-centric tumblr, http://dev-fiction.tumblr.com/


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